Tag Archives: failure

What are you so afraid of?

Posted in Practicing Self Mastery by

mocha moments

This is a question I ask my self EVERYDAY. I could never answer. I have no answers really. All the to-dos are swirling around in my head.Why I’m afraid to start – I have no clue!

Almost a week ago I had an epiphany. I knew precisely WHAT I was going to do. I no longer felt uncertain. The map had unfolded and I saw all the requisite parts. The parts I couldn’t clearly see came to me via web site links, blog posts, articles, quotes – everything seemed to collide in the center of my being – that sweet spot of all knowing. I gathered the treasures of information together and promised to take action.

Now it’s time. And I simply can’t move.

Now I’m giving myself ultimatums: You must finish such and such book before you are truly ready to begin. And so I have…finished the required reading that is…and I’m still in search of completing something else…before taking the next needed step.

I’ve been here before – so many times. That’s life. Taking us in circles – right back to where we started…

I must take that next step.

Whenever I have finally overcome inertia – moving is rewarding. I ALWAYS learn once I’m moving. I always feel joyful – the results of doing what I said I was going to do…accomplishing something.

I can come up with a few answers:

I’m afraid of failure, success, becoming myself, rejection…but it doesn’t really matter because this thing inside of me is burning a hole in my soul and constantly prodding me to share, to inspire, to encourage – and I must obey – with or without the answer to the question.

Sigh….as my friend in high school used to say “It’s an inevitable consequence. It has to happen!” – Whether I’m afraid or not….

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Why aren’t ‘what if’ scenarios helpful?

Posted in Practicing Self Mastery by

Unless someone experiences something first hand they seem to remain unmoved even in the face of compelling evidence.

I can go back to the days of studying geography and learning that slash and burn will eventually lead to massive soil erosion and depletion of much needed minerals in the soil. Try explaining that to someone living on the hills and needing to plant food to feed their kids now. They certainly would not entertain something that would happen “down the road.”

Let’s take disaster preparedness. How many of us Trinbagonians seriously take on preparing for a disaster particularly when the forecasted hurricane never hits Trinidad or Tobago and we hear once again that phrase that my friend Franka Philip actually abhors “God must be a Trini!”

How about precautions for cancer – annual pap smears, prostate checks, mammograms in addition to annual general medical and dental exams? All those horrible pictures of people suffering – showing you things that can happen to you if you don’t take “in front” as we say here in Trinidad and Tobago – seem to fall on deaf ears. I’m not going to even venture into HIV and calls for safe sex!

Then there’s the scenario used when talking to folks about living their life’s dream or fulfilling their true purpose which goes something like “what would you do if you knew you could not fail?” I see people go completely numb with this question. It’s as if they can’t imagine beyond their present conditions.

Maybe this is where we should take simulations – beyond entertainment – and perhaps help people to experience ‘what if’ scenarios not just as an exercise in using ones imagination but including the entire body? Feeling stuff viscerally as if it were actually taking place.

If burying your head in the sand, is one of your favorite past times, at some point you’re going to have to come up for air, and you’ll see pretty much that things would have progressed without you.

In the case of disaster preparedness, we should ALWAYS be prepared simply because we may not get a ‘heads up.’

With regard to our own lives – don’t let circumstances decide for you. Don’t wait until you’re fired, bankrupt, terribly ill, or let any other wretched thing that you can think of, happen to you before you decide to do something.

Don’t join me in pondering whether ‘what if’ scenarios are helpful or not. If ‘what if’ imaginings doesn’t work for you – find something that does. Hitch your wagon to whatever that is and get out of any situation that may not be in your best interest or serving you TODAY!

‘What if’ graphic from http://www.itext-media.com

Fearing success more than failure

Posted in Developing the Possibilities Mindset by

This is not a new thought.

Many times we say it quite confidently:

“I think I fear success more than I fear failure”


But that’s as far as we dare go. Having said it – we’ve admitted it and somehow feel absolved. If only for a moment.

Failure is familiar – like a worn shoe, or old coat…it takes our shape, knows every curve, every line…comfort in the simplest sense.

  1. What does SUCCESS look like?
  2. Will it mean having to spend time alone?
  3. Not see family as often?
  4. Become so popular that I lose sight of who I am?
  5. How will success affect my relationships?
  6. Will I lose the people I love?
  7. Will my partner feel intimidated?

The thought of being successful comes with all the additional thoughts of all that we have at stake. And when we mull over that list, it’s a lot!

Success will bring change and change is uncomfortable but don’t fear change.

Keep in mind the words of Helen Keller “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable.”

Photo found at Zombies, Monsters and More

“Did my model come with instructions? I can’t seem to find mine?”

Posted in Practicing Self Mastery by

As a long time science fiction buff, I was imagining a cloned human, waking up to planet Earth and trying to determine how they were supposed to live as a human being – where were the rules?

Our parents, teachers and friends do their best to help us along the way yet it is inevitable that we will fail.

EVERYBODY FAILS

EVERYBODY MAKES MISTAKES

Norman Cousins said “The essence of man is imperfection.”

Failure is just part of life. If we shield those we love and care about from this wonderful opportunity they will not grow, and certainly would not learn.

Which is why, when I came across the following “Rules for Being Human” I thought I would share:

Rule #1 You will learn lessons

Rule#2 There are no mistakes-only lessons

Rule#3 A lesson is repeated until it is learned

Rule#4 If you don’t learn the easy lessons, they get harder

Rule#5 you’ll know you’ve learned a lesson when your actions change.

Now that I am older, and a touch wiser, those rules make so much sense. I took a long time to understand Rule#3 :) – sometimes I felt like I was in a time warp! Still I am learning and growing.

It’s fun being a human being – once we know the rules!

Photo taken from http://losingcontext.com/blog/2007/10/earth.php

What is failure really?

Posted in Practicing Self Mastery by

Failure is one of those F words that we have grown to hate.

Can you think of how many times you thought YOU were a failure? Perhaps you…

  1. Didn’t finish school
  2. Didn’t get that promotion
  3. Didn’t go on the vacation you promised the kids
  4. Didn’t follow through with your intentions
  5. Didn’t make the sales quota AGAIN this month…

Have we failed though?

One school of thought is that failure is when you stop trying.

I prefer Croesus’s view – the wealthy philosopher who advised Cyrus King of Persia. He said -

“I am reminded O King and take this lesson to heart, that there is a wheel on which the affairs of men revolve and its mechanism is such that it prevents ANY man from being ALWAYS fortunate.”

This made me think that at some point – stuff wearing failure outfits - will turn up in our lives. Sometimes we will be directly responsible, sometimes things will happen that we have no control over (economic downturns, other people’s decisons etc). But as night turns to day shit is going to turn up in our lives – GUARANTEED!

I prefer to not talk about failure but rather examine what I have learnt from every so called “failure” situation in my life. I am careful not to overanalyze any one event. Sometimes over a period of time, I can see why I needed to come off the track I was on and redirect my efforts.

My journey up to this point has been quite circuitous and filled with lots of failure – all of which I am truly grateful for …now.

I know that as a result of my failings –  I am infinitely more courageous and resilient and that nothing will keep me down for too long.

Sure I have “down” days and shit is still happening (like last week Sunday when I got up – my fridge had stopped working <——–this is one of the beyond your control scenarios – refrigerators fail!) However luckily for me, a member of my master mind group had provided an excellent resource who shows up as Mr. Pariag who promptly came othe following Monday to fix my fridge and ensure that the electricity problem would not recur.

Whatever you may think you’ve failed at in life is dead and gone. Whatever you think you’ll fail at in the future is yet to come. Just remember that there is something much bigger operating in our lives and perhaps we were meant to “fail” so as not to injure ourselves, get into business with that person, leave that job that’s making us ill, leave that spouse that mentally abuses us…you get the picture?

Think of failure as temporary defeat.

Napoleon Hill in The Master-Key to Riches said:

 ”Anyone can quit when the going is hard! Anyone can feel sorry for himself when temporary defeat overtakes him, but self-coddling was no part of the character of those whom the world has recognized as great The approach to the power within cannot be made by self-pity. It cannot be made through fear and timidity. It cannot be made through envy and hatred. It cannot be made through avarice and greed….It is not a philosophy of achievement that the world needs. It is a rededication of the old and tried principles which led unerringly to the discovery of that power from within which “moves mountains.”

Failure develops this power if we but stop proclaiming that “we’ve failed yet again!” This power expresses itself in thoughts, ideas, plans and purposes.

Failure is your friend. Don’t be afraid to fail!