I learned from an early age to people-please…
I felt I could control and manage outcomes with this super power. I especially felt I could manage how my parents reacted to stuff I did.
The thing is, if you’re working with only one approach, what happens is that you suppress any other possibilities. It meant that I unconsciously started to disown parts of myself. I detached from my own emotions and continued to modify my behaviour based on feedback from others and in my environment.
As I grew older, my go-to behaviour started causing me stress. I had a lot of difficulties in relationships….afraid of being abandoned and rejected.
I put my efforts into being someone I THOUGHT I should be and not who I really was.
My saving grace came in the form of a wonderful teacher, Angela Massiah. She always saw ME. Other teachers saw my acting out, nervousness, non performance. She saw ME, and as a result, I saw myself…the real me – as they say “warts and all”!
Mrs Massiah is no longer here on this physical plane, but she will live forever in my heart.
This picture sits framed, on a shelf just to the left of me, where I work every day as a reminder of her love and devotion in encouraging me the to be the best version of myself.
On the day that we took that picture she said to me …”The teacher has become the student, and the student the teacher.”
We are all teachers…teaching by our example…how we live, how we serve and how we love.
Each of us has something unique to offer, to bring to this planet, in a way that no one else could.
I dream of every person in Trinidad and Tobago finding that!
For those who cross my path fleetingly, and for those who stay longer, I want my words, and music, and pictures and poetry to light lives…quicken spirits…and perhaps in some way…through my art…you will see yourself…and not lose hope or faith in your own capacity…to do that for someone else.
Love and Light…