I saw this quote while scrolling through Instagram – Burnout is not a badge of honor. Up until recently burnout was something that I could not relate to. That is until I had a conversation with my doctor who said that what I was describing to him sounded like burnout.

I wrote about it a bit here, talking about darkness. But it’s more than that.

I got the flu, and while in bed for a couple of days, I had tons of time to think.

I just can’t do my life the way I’m doing it anymore. I don’t want complex. I want clarity. I want directness. I want joy. I want ease. I don’t want likes. I don’t need acceptance. I want to be more me. I don’t want to be like anyone else. I no longer wish to compare myself to what anyone else is doing. I can’t suffer one more surface conversation or rather nonversation again. I am tired. I don’t want to be a company. I just want to be me, helping others share their talents and gifts with the world. I want to travel more. I want to write. I want to share ideas. Get rid of the shoulds and do more of what comes natural.

What am I doing exactly with my one precious life?

When we think of burnout, we usually thinking of overworking, but burnout is way more complex.

We get burnt out when we, for a long period of time:

• Overwork
• Lack boundaries
• Talk in a toxic way to ourselves
• Overthink everything
• Copy others
• Compare ourselves to others
• Ignore our gifts
• Play small
• Not follow our intuitive direction

Burnout is less about rest and more about recalibration.

Burnout happens when we drift so far away from our core that we lose our bearing and all sense of self. We disconnect and no longer dial in to our essence.

Our first act is to clear out the dirt and muck that keeps us from seeing our truth. All the ways we’ve learned how to be to be in this world; to be a good boy or girl; to not rock the boat; keep the peace.

The question we need to ask ourselves is this: whose peace are we keeping?

Once we are ready we must go through these 4 steps. It’s not a race. Do it at your own pace.

Step One: Awareness – this is when we become aware of our conditioned behaviour

Step Two: Release – here we have a better understanding of what no longer serves us and are willing to let go. Let go of the shame, the loss, the regret, the resentment, the anger, the sadness, the fears and any discomfort

Step Three: Replace – we need to replace conditioned behaviour with behaviour that is more in alignment with who we are.

Step Four: Accept – we need to accept our new behaviours particularly when old behaviours resurface. This is where mantras and affirmations can support your new aligned behaviour.

Mary Oliver sums it up nicely, how we ought to approach our lives, in the last two verses of her poem: When death comes –

When it’s over, I want to say: all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.

When it’s over, I don’t want to wonder
if I have made of my life something particular, and real.
I don’t want to find myself sighing and frightened,
or full of argument.

I don’t want to end up simply having visited this world.

And I’ll add, I don’t want to live in a burnt out state, detached and dissassociated. I want to live, to share, to care less about significance and more about contributing all of who I am, in service to those I am here to help.