There are perhaps countless answers to this one question, depending on who’s answering so I’m going to share a few reasons here:

• We don’t want others to know, how much we don’t know so we struggle quietly.
• We claim to not want to ‘bother’ others, and come over as a nuisance.
• We don’t want to appear needy.

The idea of doing it alone has been illustrated in songs like “My Way” made famous by Frank Sinatra and in countless stories describing the self-made man or woman, who against all odds – made it big! The idea is seductive because we are all sheroes in our own story and why the hell not?

I must admit, while I have not had any qualms about not knowing enough, I have always chosen to buy a book, versus asking someone else for help or guidance. This has changed somewhat as I have bought help from coaches in particular from Jason Leister and Austin Church, because they get me and there are a couple useful newsletters (both Jason’s and Austin’s are top on the list) and David Cain for example, that I will remain subscribed to.

In a course that I bought from David, called One Big Win he shares:

The reason the human being has become such a successful creature is that we share the burden of figuring out how everything works. Most of our knowledge has been given to us by others, and most of our methods were developed by others. Human civilization is a massive collaboration over generations, and without that tendency we’d be hardscrabble solitary creatures, each struggling to gather enough grubs for the day.

Let that sink in.

So…if you are struggling in a particular area, why would you keep yourself there by stubbornly refusing available help?

Manfred F.R. Kets de Vries management scholar, psychoanalyst, and an executive coach casts a positive light on the issue. His view is that asking for help is not a sign of weakness. To the contrary, it can be one of the more courageous things you can do.

To feel fulfilled and be successful both personally and professionally, it’s important to acknowledge and accept when you are working beyond your own capacity and be open to asking others for help.

I see so many of us struggling to do it all: write blog posts, create social media posts, create TikTok videos, figure out the accounting, deal with HR issues while struggling to drum up enough business to survive each month.

Don’t make the mistake of always trying to go it alone.

You need to be smart enough to know when you need help and to ask for it immediately. Asking for and sometimes paying for help frees up your time and mental energy, allowing you to focus on those things that only you can do, and do well!