Do not compare yourself to anyone else (including your younger self). Doing so is an act of disrespect for who you are now. Comparing yourself to others will make you feel either superior or inferior. DAN MILLMAN, Way of the Peaceful Warrior

I’ve read that comparison is the thief of joy but never really looked at comparing myself to someone else as disrespecting myself.

If you’re anything like me, you probably think that everyone else has it together but you, better than you, or some version of this.

This, my friends, is what’s called comparative thinking—more specifically, it’s often called comparative pessimism or upward social comparison.

Here are a couple of ways we compare:

• Upward social comparison → Comparing yourself to people you perceive as “above” you in status, wealth, beauty, success, or happiness.
• Comparative pessimism → Believing the comparison will always turn out unfavorably for you (“They’re better off, I’m worse off”).
• Scarcity mindset → Assuming resources like love, money, opportunities, or good fortune are limited, so if they have more, you must have less.
• Cognitive distortions →
  • Mental filtering (focusing only on the positive in others and the negative in yourself)
  • Fortune telling (predicting your future will always be worse)
  • Personalization (believing differences are a reflection of your inadequacy)

When that thinking becomes habitual, it can feel like everyone else’s life is “better” by default—without necessarily checking the reality.

So what’s the reality?

Dan shares some wisdom in his reflection:

“When I was a college coach, I especially enjoyed teaching beginning and intermediate trampoline and gymnastics. I noticed that some class participants picked up a back somersault more quickly than others — but I also noticed that most of those people who took longer to learn the somersault learned it better than those who learned it more quickly.  So please respect your own style of learning and of living. As the saying goes, you’re here to live your own life, since everyone else is already taken.
 
Find positive role models, and emulate their good qualities in your own way. There’s no one size that fits all. Be an original, and stop trying to fit in — you may be here to lead.“

We don’t embrace our uniqueness enough. Sometimes what we see as a flaw, becomes our greatest leverage. If you’ve never heard of Anthony Robles, he is a perfect example of this. I mention him in this article that I wrote in June 2012.

And I’ll say this – even though I am well aware logically, that comparison will bring me more grief than joy, I still indulge. After all, I am human. Which brings me to this:

Learning and growing aren’t one-time achievements but ongoing reminders we must choose every day.

In A Course in Miracles, and through Marianne Williamson’s interpretation, that idea comes through vividly. Williamson emphasizes that spiritual transformation isn’t passive—it’s about purifying your mind and consistently returning to your inherent truth. She reminds us that –

“Miracles are everyone’s right, but purification is necessary first.” You can’t just wake up enlightened—you re-mind yourself by doing the internal work of shedding fear and aligning with love.

Strategic Alignment Prompt:

Today, pause and notice when you slip into comparison—whether with others or with a younger version of yourself. Instead of asking “How do I measure up?” ask, “How can I honor who I am right now?”
Let that question shape your choices for the next 24 hours.

Comparison casts a shadow that can blind you to your own strengths, opportunities, and truth.

If you’re ready to see what’s really possible for you—beyond the distortions of comparison—let’s talk.

Book a Clarity Conversation and uncover what you might be missing when you measure yourself against others (or your younger self).