It’s easy to assume that leadership is about having the answers. That’s how most of us were trained — rewarded for certainty, praised for decisiveness, and conditioned to believe that not knowing equals weakness.

But somewhere along the way, many leaders stopped learning. They became knowers — walking encyclopedias of past experience who mistake information for insight. And it shows.

• Meetings become predictable.
• Teams grow quiet.
• Innovation slows down, not because people don’t care, but because they’ve stopped feeling heard.

Adam Grant and Brené Brown call this out beautifully. In their conversation on courageous leadership, they describe the learner as someone driven by curiosity — the one who asks great questions and stays open to being changed by the answers.

The knower, on the other hand, clings to control. Their leadership runs on proving rather than exploring. It’s fueled by fear — fear of being exposed, of losing authority, of being seen as uncertain.

Yet, true authority has nothing to do with always being right.
It’s about being real enough to rethink what you cling to as ‘truth’.

One of Brown’s most powerful ideas is what she calls the playback — the act of repeating what you’ve heard to ensure you truly understand. It’s deceptively simple and starts with: “So what I’m hearing is…”

And that small act? It changes everything. It transforms listening from a transaction into connection. It signals: I see you. I hear you. You matter.

Research even shows that in high-stakes hostage negotiations, this skill — reflecting back what someone says — often determines whether people live or die. Imagine that!

Now imagine what that means in the everyday conversations inside your business.

• Between you and your team.
• Between your company and your clients.

How many moments of misalignment could be softened or solved if we simply paused long enough to listen for understanding, not victory?

As humans, we are neurobiologically wired to be seen and heard. That’s not being soft — it’s science. And in organizations, that wiring becomes culture. The more we lead with curiosity, the more trust and psychological safety we create.

So maybe the question isn’t whether you’re a good leader. Maybe the question is: Are you leading as a learner or as a knower? Because one closes loops. The other opens possibilities.

Strategic Reflection Prompt:

Where in your leadership or business are you defaulting to “knower mode”? What might shift — for you and those you lead — if you leaned into curiosity instead of certainty?

About Giselle

I’m Giselle Hudson — writer, possibility thinker, musician, Organization & People Development Sensemaker™, and MCODE Legacy Coach. I help leaders and soul-driven professionals decode the deeper patterns shaping their business, work, identities, and results especially when it look like a performance issue but it’s really misalignment in disguise.

If something in your life or business feels off and you can’t quite name it, message me. Sometimes one conversation is all it takes to see what’s really going on.