For most of my life, I thought excellence meant perfection. If I could just get it right – the timing, the copy, the offer, the tone, the framework, the output, the guarantee – then things would fall into place. Clients would say yes. Partners would stay. The world would clap and I’d finally be seen for my contributions.

But perfection is a shapeshifter. It looks noble on the surface – like discipline, high standards, or ambition – but underneath, it’s fear.

• Fear of judgment.
• Fear of being found lacking.
• Fear of being seen as a fraud (Maya Angelou grappled with this believe it or not!)
• Fear that if we aren’t flawless, we won’t be loved.

I’ve always believed that messages can find you anywhere – in a book, a conversation, a line from a film, or even in your inbox.

Lately, I’ve been wrestling with the usual trio that visits me when I’m stretching into a new phase: validation, approval, and performance. So when I saw an email titled “Your patience paid off today, Giselle…” I clicked – not because I expected anything profound, but because of the space I was in.

Inside was a fortune-cookie reading invitation, and when I clicked on the link, and chose my fortune cookie, this was my message:

Being your true self attracts real connections. Like a beacon that draws the right ships to shore, your authenticity has the power to attract meaningful relationships and genuine connections into your life. You don’t need to change or pretend – your real self is your greatest asset in creating deep, lasting bonds with others. This isn’t about being perfect; it’s about being perfectly you.

The timing, the wording – it all felt like a **Godwink –  

[**a term for a coincidence or event with a perceived divine origin, seen as a hopeful message or “wink” from God. These events are more than mere chance and can include things like thinking of someone right before they call or a timely message that seems to answer a prayer. The term was popularized by author SQuire Rushnell.]

The message I received: release performance and return to presence.

I decided right then that today’s piece would be called “It Isn’t About Being Perfect – It’s About Being Perfectly You.” It’s an important conversation we all need to have…together.

And as I sat down to write this morning, I did what I always do – typed the title into Google. Not because I needed confirmation, but because I know I’m never the only one thinking about something. That’s when I found a piece by actress and writer Carrie Genzel titled “You Don’t Have to Be Perfect, You Just Have to Be.”

And just like that, it all connected – the message, the moment, and the meaning. Carrie shared…

Perfection is a lie we tell ourselves when we’re scared. It gives us a reason to wait, to hide, to stay small.

And that’s exactly what it does. Perfectionism tells you to wait until you’re “ready.” Authenticity tells you to start now and grow into it.

The truth about readiness

The idea that you’ll somehow feel ready before doing the thing that matters – that’s one of the great human myths.

• Readiness doesn’t precede action.
• Readiness is born through action.

Every meaningful project, conversation, or transformation in your life probably began before you were ready.

• You learned as you went.
• You adjusted as you moved.
• You became more capable by showing up.

That’s what Genzel means when she says,

No plan is bulletproof. No path is paved just right. Life is messy, and we’re messy too. The trick is to move forward anyway.

It’s never going to be perfect. And that’s not failure – that’s feedback.

From performance to presence

Perfectionism isn’t just about doing – it’s about proving.

• We perform to be accepted.
• We adjust to avoid rejection.
• We “manage” our image, tone, or timing so others won’t misread us.

But here’s the thing about performing yourself: You can win approval and still lose connection. Because people may love what you show, but only the people who are meant for you will love what’s true.

Brené Brown defines love like this:

Love is not something we give or get; it’s something we nurture and grow between people.

Love – including self-love – requires reality. If you’re performing, there’s no “between.” There’s just presentation.

Authenticity is not comfort

Being “perfectly you” isn’t about being unfiltered or reckless – it’s about being rooted. It’s about knowing where your center is, even when the room gets loud.

Authenticity often asks for discomfort – telling the truth, saying no, holding your boundary. But that discomfort is productive. It’s the cost of freedom.

We often confuse perfection with peace – thinking that if we do everything right, we’ll finally be safe. But peace doesn’t come from perfection. Peace comes from alignment. From being the same person in every room – not performing stability, but practicing it.

Rejecting the external scorecard

Somewhere along the line, we were taught that worthiness is conditional.

• You’re worthy when you achieve.
• You’re lovable when you please.
• You’re successful when the crowd applauds.

But here’s the truth: you were worthy before you produced a single thing.
Your value doesn’t fluctuate with your performance. When you stop measuring yourself by external standards – followers, sales, validation, likes, you make room for authentic satisfaction. Not the fleeting dopamine hit of approval, but the grounded knowing that what you did mattered, because it came from alignment, not anxiety.

Flaws and all, you’re already enough

Genzel says,

You don’t have to be ‘fixed’ or ‘perfect’ or polished to begin. The real magic happens when you show up as you are.

That’s the same energy Brené Brown describes when she talks about belonging:

Fitting in is becoming who you think you need to be. Belonging is being accepted for who you are.

The two are opposites.

• Fitting in is performance.
• Belonging is authenticity.

Perfection keeps you busy trying to fit in. Authenticity brings you home to belonging – first with yourself, then with others.

The leadership angle

In business and leadership, perfection shows up as control. We over-plan, overwork, overthink – all to avoid the vulnerability of not knowing.

But vulnerability is where real leadership lives. It’s what allows teams to experiment, fail, and grow. Perfection demands predictability; alignment invites adaptability.

When leaders trade performance for authenticity, the culture shifts.

• Fear recedes.
• Truth rises.
• And work stops being performative and starts being meaningful.

The practice

Being perfectly you isn’t a one-time revelation – it’s a daily practice. It’s reminding yourself:

• I can start before I’m ready.
• I can show up even when I’m afraid.
• I can love myself in progress, not just in achievement.
• I can belong without performing.

You don’t need to wait to “get it right.” You just need to begin. Because your life – your relationships, your purpose, your business – isn’t waiting for you to be perfect. It’s waiting for you to be present.

Strategic Reflection Prompt

1. Where are you waiting for perfect before you show up?
2. What’s one small, imperfect action you can take today that aligns with who you truly are?

About Giselle

I’m Giselle Hudson — writer, possibility thinker, musician, Organization & People Development Sensemaker™, and MCODE Legacy Coach. I help leaders and soul-driven professionals decode the deeper patterns shaping their business, work, identities, and results especially when it look like a performance issue but it’s really misalignment in disguise.

If something in your life or business feels off and you can’t quite name it, message me. Sometimes one conversation is all it takes to see what’s really going on.