Noah Fleming shared this story about a $20M company, a top sales guy who “owned” every major client, and a president quietly panicking because this top sales guy had resigned and was taking half the revenue with him.

Noah asked a simple but disarming question:

Do you have customer relationships… or do
you have hostages?

The contrast was so stark, and remarkably visual, I knew I wanted to explore the customer as a hostage concept. It made me wonder how many businesses genuinely cultivate relationships — and how many simply maintain dependencies that feel like loyalty until the day those customers leave.

We love to say “relationships matter.”

We preach it. We train around it. We build entire sales cultures around it.

But when you strip away the slogans, what many organizations actually have is a dependency, not a relationship.

• If one sales person leaving can collapse your revenue…
• If your top clients know your employee’s name more than your company’s name…
• If all roads, all updates, all escalations flow through one human being…

Then, as Noah pointed out: – You don’t have relationships. You have hostages, and hostages will eventually be released…not necessarily on your terms.

The Illusion of Relationship

Most companies confuse access with relationship.

They say, “We know our clients well.” But what they really mean is: “We have a list of people we email.” Or: “Our sales guy talks to them all the time.”

They have a CRM full of names, regular meetings filled with updates with some on the sales team brimming with confidence.

But look closer, and what you often find is this:

• No shared history inside the company
• No communal understanding of each client’s business
• No clear succession or escalation paths should a rep leave
• No strategic rhythm of check-ins
• No company-wide ownership of the experience

It’s not a relationship—it’s a single point of emotional dependency masquerading as loyalty.

Sales vs. Relationship-Building

This is where so many businesses get stuck.

They reward the seller who “closes deals,” but they never build the internal system that enables the relationship to belong to the company.

• They teach people how to pitch, but not how to cultivate.
• They focus on the chase, not the stewardship.
• They celebrate the hunter, but neglect the gardener.

And then they’re shocked—shocked!—when the “gardener” leaves and takes the whole garden with them.

But why wouldn’t they? You handed them the soil, the seeds, and the irrigation system. You just never built the irrigation system to keep all your relationships nourished no matter who was tending the garden.”

Strategic Relationships Are Built, Not Inherited

A real customer relationship is never owned by one person. It is:

• Documented
• Distributed
• Supported
• Experienced across touchpoints
• Integrated into how the entire company understands value

A strategic relationship is one where:

1. The client trusts the entity, not the individual.
2. The loyalty is to the experience, not the personality.
3. The knowledge is in the system, not someone’s memory.
4. The success is shared across people, process, and rhythm.

When this is in place, no one person can walk out with clients and subsequently revenue; because the relationship is institutional, not personal.

A Simple Diagnostic Question

Look at your top 10 clients and ask yourself:

If my “best” client-facing person left tomorrow, how many of those clients would stay?

If the answer isn’t all, you have a relationship problem masquerading as a performance problem.

And that’s where alignment work begins.

Because Real Alignment Is Relational

People-first organizations don’t rely on “rockstars.” They build architecture—shared ownership, predictable rhythms, documented wisdom, and multi-threaded relationships.

They protect clients from being unintentionally held hostage. They protect their staff from being the sole bearer of expectations. And most importantly—they protect the business from fragility disguised as loyalty.

Because in a well-aligned business, no single resignation should threaten revenue.

Relationships should be anchored, not held hostage.

Strategic Reflection Prompt

Which of your current client relationships depend too heavily on one person — and what is one practical step you can take this week to make that relationship belong to the business instead of the individual?

Consider documenting something, introducing a second point of contact, clarifying expectations, or creating a shared rhythm of communication. The goal isn’t to disrupt the relationship — it’s to strengthen it so it can thrive beyond any single person.

About Giselle

I’m Giselle Hudson — writer, possibility thinker, musician, Organization & People Development Sensemaker™, and MCODE Legacy Coach. I help leaders and soul-driven professionals decode the deeper patterns shaping their business, work, identities, and results especially when it look like a performance issue but it’s really misalignment in disguise.

If something in your life or business feels off and you can’t quite name it, message me. Sometimes one conversation is all it takes to see what’s really going on.