The problem isn’t poor communication.
It’s structural and behavioral friction – invisible and persistent

Should is a Judgment. Could is an Opportunity

There’s a small linguistic trapdoor that most leaders fall through without noticing. It’s tucked inside two tiny words that shape entire days, teams, and decisions.

Should.
Could.

One shuts the room.
The other opens it.

Should is the quiet judge at the back of the boardroom. It carries the weight of expectation, obligation, invisible rulebooks written by no one you chose. It polices your pace, your tone, your decisions, and eventually your identity. Leaders who live in should spend their days auditing themselves instead of directing energy toward what matters. Their teams feel it too. Should creates a culture of compliance instead of contribution.

Could is different. Could is the skylight. It invites air. It introduces possibility. It whispers: what becomes available if we explore this? Leaders who think in “could“, pull their organizations toward expansion. They make space for intelligence to surface. They give permission for teams to experiment. They trade performance anxiety for forward movement.

Should narrows the imagination.
Could enlarges the horizon.

This isn’t semantics. It’s strategy.

When the internal script of a leader is dominated by should, everything feels heavy: expectations, deadlines, even conversations. The work becomes a maze of obligations. Innovation tries to bloom but keeps hitting low ceilings.

But when the script shifts to could, oxygen returns. Clarity becomes available. Alignment stops feeling like a checklist and starts behaving like a living system. The leader becomes a conductor again rather than the person mopping the stage between scenes.

I’ve watched entire teams reorganize around these two words.

Should makes people shrink.
Could invites them to rise.

And there’s a companion truth here — one that quietly transforms how leaders interact. Too often, leaders rush into advice, correction, or teaching before anyone has actually asked for guidance. It comes from a good place, but it lands as intrusion. Respectful leadership means pausing long enough to ask: Do you want my perspective?

Before offering direction, create space. Before listing solutions, invite the other person’s view. That tiny shift protects dignity, strengthens trust, and keeps your guidance from sounding like judgment disguised as mentorship.

Should tells people what to do.
Could opens a path for them to choose.

For 2026, here’s the invitation: audit your vocabulary. Listen to how you speak to yourself before you speak to your team. Ask where judgment is masquerading as responsibility. Replace one should with a single could and notice what new pathways appear.

Sometimes clarity isn’t a lightning bolt. It’s a hinge. And the smallest hinge can swing open an entirely new direction.

STRATEGIC REFLECTION PROMPT

Where in your leadership are you operating from should, and what becomes possible if you shift to one simple could?

About Giselle

I’m Giselle Hudson — Organization & People Development Sensemaker™, MCODE® Legacy Coach, writer and musician. I help leaders and independent professionals close the gap between strategy and execution by making invisible friction visible, so direction can finally translate into results.

If execution isn’t matching intent and you can’t quite see why, message me on WhatsApp. We’ll start with a brief Clarity Conversation to understand what you’re facing and decide together whether a focused Sensemaking Session is the right next step.