I have often said to people that my job is primarily a sales job.

If I don’t sell, I don’t eat.

That is the unromantic truth of being self-employed for more than thirty years. And yet… despite all those years, I still lose my way sometimes. I lose it when I start focusing too hard on the pressures of responsibilities.

• What needs to be paid.
• What MUST be paid every month.
• What the mortgage looks like.
• What the debt looks like.
• What the calendar looks like.

And before I realize what has happened, I’ve slipped into a mindset that says:

I need to go out there and sell something. Anything. RIGHT NOW!

That is not a good mindset to have. Because the moment you think like that, every potential client suddenly appears in your mind with a dollar sign on their forehead.

You stop seeing people. You start seeing invoices.

And instead of thinking about their needs, their problems, their frustrations, their goals… you are quietly thinking about your own.

• How much do I need?
• How quickly can this close?
• Will this cover my bills?

In that pressure-cooker state, you almost never get the sale. Worse, the cycle compounds itself. No sale → more pressure → more desperation → worse energy → even fewer sales. It’s a spiral that feels logical on the surface and toxic underneath.

So today I thought…

What if, instead of thinking “I need to sell,” you started thinking: I need to have conversations. Real conversations.

Curious conversations. Open conversations. Helpful conversations.

Because when you approach people as human beings rather than opportunities, the entire energy changes.

And this is where it gets interesting.

Selling has gotten a bad name for reasons that run deep.

Culturally, we’ve been trained to picture selling as pushy, manipulative, slightly sleazy. The slick talker. The hard closer. The person trying to get one over on you.

Historically, a lot of that reputation was earned. Sales roles were often structured around quotas and pressure, not around relationships and trust.

Psychologically, buyers walk into sales interactions already defensive. Nobody likes feeling persuaded. Nobody enjoys feeling cornered. Most of us instinctively protect our wallets and our autonomy.

So when we show up with “selling energy,” people can feel it instantly. Even when we don’t say a word.

But conversations are different.

Conversations invite instead of push. They explore instead of convince. They create space instead of pressure.

When you begin with a conversation:

• You ask questions.
• You listen deeply.
• You learn what is actually going on.
• You understand whether you can genuinely help.

And sometimes the best outcome of a conversation is realizing you are not the right fit at all. That is still a win. Because it preserves dignity, preserves trust and preserves your integrity.

Most importantly, it keeps you in your power and grace. You don’t feel sleazy, desperate or like you are chasing anyone. You feel like yourself.

And here’s the paradox.

Good conversations often lead to better sales anyway.

Not because you tried harder, but because people felt seen. They experienced you as helpful, because curiosity was sparked instead of resistance.

Money becomes a by-product instead of the headline.

I’m reminding myself of this today.

Yes, I need to earn.
Yes, I need cash flow.
Yes, business must come in the door.

But I don’t need to approach the world like a hungry person scanning for prey. I can approach it like a professional who cares about solving real problems.

So before I think “sell”…I’m choosing to think: Start a conversation.

Strategic Reflection Prompt:

Where have you been approaching people with pressure instead of curiosity, and how might your results change if your only goal this week was to have three genuinely good conversations?

About Giselle

I’m Giselle Hudson — Organization & People Development Sensemaker™, MCODE® Legacy Coach, writer and musician. I help leaders and independent professionals understand why plans that make perfect sense on paper don’t play out in practice, so execution can be realigned to match strategic intent.

If execution isn’t matching intent and you can’t quite see why, message me on WhatsApp…