My journey, once I left ‘working for someone else’, has been for the most part – lonely. I could no longer commiserate with colleagues, get feedback nor hear any office gossip. There were no more casual encounters at the coffee station. My invites to my client’s events stopped, as I was no longer serving them. My life changed drastically.

I love my solo journey and the work I’m doing. I love not answering to anyone, and for the most part, being able to control what I do, how I do it, and when I do it.

There are however those moments, which come more frequently than I care to admit, when I miss having other humans around me, and that is when I veer off course, feel overwhelmed or lose confidence in myself.

When I encounter these moments, my natural inclination is to retreat and shut out the world; to dive deep into a sea of unhelpful questions like – why can’t you just do what needs to get done? Why are you self-sabotaging again? Why are you fooling yourself into thinking that this can ACTUALLY happen?

My answer to these questions take on the flavour of a drill sergeant:

You need to be more disciplined, more focused and it is imperative that you stick to a rigorous program. There will be no time wasting on social media, you will not answer the phone and you will work until you complete everything that you have on your list, even if that means working well into the night.

I almost never do what this voice tells me to do and then I end up feeling worse about myself than I did at the start of this particular cycle of self-doubt and overwhelm.

I have a small circle of friends but I don’t think I ever saw them as providing the support I need during these periods I’ve described.

In moments when you don’t believe in yourself, you need other people who believe in you. They can hold you up when you falter and keep you from hitting the ground. Other people see you differently from the way you see yourself.

I came across the above quote by Esther Perel – who has been called the most important game-changer in sexuality and relational health since Dr. Ruth.

It made me rethink my ‘figuring it out alone’ strategy.

If you’re reading this, perhaps this is a reminder that you don’t have to figure it out all by yourself. I know, pot calling kettle black, but we are in this together LOL.

Esther says that she seeks out people to help her regain her focus, her confidence and her clarity.

It is not uncommon for the teacher providing a service to need that very same service. So as I look for someone or ‘someones’ to provide support for me, I would like to offer you my support, to be your human GPS as it were, in those times when you get overwhelmed, lose your sense of direction and need help to recalculate and find your path.