I was thinking about this in the context of the person I am today and whether or not I was being REAL – being ME? Or was it that I was an assortment of habits, perceptions and things that over the years I learned to accept as my truth when in fact I just borrowed it from the rule book of “How to fit in and be accepted”? Of course I never bothered to read the fine print that came right after the title “and never be noticed or genuinely happy!”
Toni Raiten D’Antonio, author of the Velveteen Principles says “there is a difference between superficial beauty and the inner beauty we all possess as unique human beings. One is a product of the object culture, which reduces us to the things we own and the milestones we accomplish. The other is the result of a life well lived, where our struggles and challenges make us more lovable and truly ourselves. Inner beauty, the kind you can feel and others can see, is what happens when you stop chasing false ideals and become the REAL person you are meant to be.”
As a child I struggled a lot with wanting to be liked. But trying to fit in cost me a lot. I neglected my own intelligence and uniqueness and opted to be the very entertaining class clown. Many times I chose activities because they were what others wanted to do and I went along although most times I was unhappy.
I am getting better at getting to know this person that is me. I no longer get involved in activities that I find are a waste of my time. Now I can do it without making excuses or apologies.
I am still learning and growing – it is a process.
What about you – do you know the woman or man looking back at you in the mirror?
Judgments are destructive but we can always choose new beliefs and values based on who we are for REAL. We need to have self-empathy – be aware of our own idiosyncrasies, values, priorities, needs and feelings.
A person with self-empathy doesn’t struggle to think what everyone else is thinking or feel what everyone eles is feeling but values her responses and considers them when making choices and decisions.
Tune into your heart and mind as you go through this day. Get to know the REAL you!