What are you so afraid of?

mocha moments

This is a question I ask my self EVERYDAY. I could never answer. I have no answers really. All the to-dos are swirling around in my head.Why I’m afraid to start – I have no clue!

Almost a week ago I had an epiphany. I knew precisely WHAT I was going to do. I no longer felt uncertain. The map had unfolded and I saw all the requisite parts. The parts I couldn’t clearly see came to me via web site links, blog posts, articles, quotes – everything seemed to collide in the center of my being – that sweet spot of all knowing. I gathered the treasures of information together and promised to take action.

Now it’s time. And I simply can’t move.

Now I’m giving myself ultimatums: You must finish such and such book before you are truly ready to begin. And so I have…finished the required reading that is…and I’m still in search of completing something else…before taking the next needed step.

I’ve been here before – so many times. That’s life. Taking us in circles – right back to where we started…

I must take that next step.

Whenever I have finally overcome inertia – moving is rewarding. I ALWAYS learn once I’m moving. I always feel joyful – the results of doing what I said I was going to do…accomplishing something.

I can come up with a few answers:

I’m afraid of failure, success, becoming myself, rejection…but it doesn’t really matter because this thing inside of me is burning a hole in my soul and constantly prodding me to share, to inspire, to encourage – and I must obey – with or without the answer to the question.

Sigh….as my friend in high school used to say “It’s an inevitable consequence. It has to happen!” – Whether I’m afraid or not….


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