Tag Archives: Thoughts

Have You Mastered the Art of Ignoring Pain?

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A couple weeks ago I believe I damaged my shoulder. I think it had something to do with my large TV, a skinny TV repair man, me doing some heavy lifting and the angle that we had to hold the TV in order to place it safely on the back seat of the car. [Can we say 'THANK GOD for the flat screen TV invention?]

Anyway, the only time that I really feel the pain in my shoulder is when I am stretching my arm as in reaching to take off the alarm on my phone, that’s perched on my bedside table or when I am changing a t-shirt.

The thing is once I don’t stretch it or lie on the side of the injured shoulder, I’m fine. So I’ve basically ignored it going on now more than a month I’m sure.

This morning I decided to call my physiotherapist. So she told me to ice, 15 minutes, twice a day and then see if I’m still in pain and then come see her, unless of course I’m having trouble hooking my bra. Then I needed to book an appointment immediately!

I said “well no – I’m not having trouble until my brain offered ‘d-uh that’s because you’re hooking in the front!’ ” :) When I  tried to put my hand up behind my back, needless to say I couldn’t.

Panic.

Now pain, that I’d been experiencing for days on end because as much as I’d like to think I could contain stretching, I couldn’t, is now escalated to emergency – must see the physiotherapist YESTERDAY!

Aren’t our lives similar? We make it through because we get good at ignoring the pain we’re in?

Superhero gifts come in all shapes and sizes, identifying their owners as someone apart. A girl on an episode of “Grey’s Anatomy” thought she was a superhero because she felt no pain. You could kick her, pinch her, scrape her, burn her — she wouldn’t flinch. But she wasn’t a superhero. She had a rare disorder called CIPA – congenital insensitivity to pain.

Sam Crowley says “many of us have emotional CIPA and we go through our lives functioning just fine, somewhat comfortable, and completely oblivious to the pain we may be suffering from. “I don’t want to get dramatic here”, he says “but unfortunately the facts tell us our emotions and the thoughts we have on a daily basis control the quality of our lives if we aren’t paying attention. They affect the choices we make, our perspective on life and our reactions to its events. That pretty much means that whatever you’re feeling is affecting your life and the quality of your life whether you know it or not. So if you’re unaware of how you’re feeling right now – if you have no idea what pain you’re in or why you’re dissatisfied…guess what? That unidentified pain is in the driver’s seat and it greatly influences the direction your life takes.”

Please don’t wait for as long as I did, to determine exactly what shape you’re in. Stop fooling yourself by saying things like “it will change just now, things will get better soon.” This is not going to happen on its own. YOU need to be in the drivers seat and take control of alleviating and then eliminating that pain altogether.

Don’t wait till it reaches a crisis stage when you have no choice but to pay attention. Deal with ‘it’ now, whatever that is.

In my case, I’m seeing my physiotherapist next week!

Image from http://www.ladyzona.com

You’re Either Consistent or Non-Existent

Posted in Developing the Possibilities Mindset, Practicing Self Mastery by

This phrase appeared on my radar while listening to a CD by Mike Litman called ‘Greatness Held Hostage’. If you’ve ever listened to anything by Mike, you know you will remember something! He is ‘Mr. Enthusiastic’ and was once described as a modern day Napoleon Hill. So when Mike said ‘You’re either consistent or non-existent’ it sunk in because before the CD was finished I’d heard it at least three times.

The more I ponder on this phrase the more I realize just how powerful it really is. Consistency is the lifeblood of any business. Consistency is the key to a great customer experience. If you start slipping up or forgetting things, your customers can only assume other problems are afoot as well. Consistency assures your current customers of the experience they will have the next time they do business with you. If you did a good job this time, the customer will be more likely to give you repeat business. Consistency helps retain those customers that would otherwise turn to a competitor. Consistency makes it extremely easy for your current customers to tell their friends about your business.

One of the best ways to gather force, especially regarding our businesses, is to practice consistency. Consistency can mean many things to different people. It is as simple as choosing to perform a basic task at the same time every day for at least 40 days. For example, I decided recently to write a blog post a day for 90 days straight. If I missed a day I had to start all over again from day 1. Two things I learned from that particular exercise in consistency. The first was that consistent performance of a chosen task sometimes even at a chosen time over a period of days helped me to gain force and momentum. The second lesson was that having not set another goal for consistent writing once I had completed my 90-day goal I began to miss days and subsequently lost some of the force I had gained. In fact I noticed that my contributions to my blog sometimes dwindled to one post a week! Now I know that the discipline of committing to consistency (and daily blog posts seems to do it for me in this instance), underpins my success in any endeavor.

Closely tied to consistency’s hip is completion. Ever notice how horrible you begin to feel if you don’t regularly keep your word? The dictionary says that completion is finishing something and making it whole. Your energy and power is consumed by things left unfinished. Think about the incompletions in your life: unspoken truths, broken agreements, promises made and not kept, people you appreciate love and care about but haven’t told directly and of course money owed. In the ‘Five Wishes’ Gay Hendricks says that “justification is one of the glues that hold incompletions in place. “I’m right so technically I don’t owe you anything or you made me angry therefore I don’t owe you the money!”

If you say to a customer “I’ll call you tomorrow,” you have created a new agreement of how things will be. If you then make good on the agreement and call tomorrow you line yourself up to experience harmony. If you don’t call, you leave a loose end. By not making the call you communicate something that directly affects your business and life. You are in fact saying that your word is no good and the customer is not worth your effort to keep your word!

The most important aspect in my eyes when it comes to trusting someone involves their consistency. I have met several people at various social events who all appear to be friendly, approachable, and knowledgeable regarding the product or service being promoted. Then it comes time for the follow up process of setting a first appointment. Sometimes they make the appointment but never show up. They might call the next day offering an excuse. Some never follow up. One would think that after meeting such a great person that presented themselves so well at a mixer, there would be no further issues? WRONG! This follow up process has already started to show these people’s inconsistencies and in turn, makes me lose the trust factor that I must have if I’m to do business with someone.

So how do you achieve consistency in your business?

First review your business. Take an inventory of your current situation to see if your business is set up to accomplish what you truly want to achieve and build the trust you say you wish to establish. Clarify your vision. Write a vision statement that spells out clearly what you see your business providing for the customer. Then write a mission statement that explains how you intend to achieve your objective or vision. Ensure that all connections made with your customers achieve this including phone messages, phone calls, emails, social media sites, web sites, company policies, your presentations – EVERYTHING! Develop a sound business strategy. Know what your strengths and weaknesses are and describe them in detail. Then outline how you plan to capitalize on both particularly if you discover ‘energy’ leaks in your business that need to be stopped.

The power of being consistent is about cleaning up the habits and thoughts that do not serve you. It is about going to the depths of who and what you truly are. The power of completion can go into all areas of your life; do you have a song inside you, a canvas to paint, a relationship to heal, or a destiny to follow? When you get complete with that which is still left undone in your life, it frees you up to explore the passion and possibility that is out there for you with your name on it!

We all have the capacity to achieve so much more in our lives than we give ourselves credit for. Discover what’s possible for you - enter your email address in the box on the top right hand corner of this blog for your FREE ‘HOW TO’ e-guide

Tshirt graphic from http://www.drewsmarketingminute.com

Something to think about…

Posted in Developing the Possibilities Mindset, Practicing Self Mastery by

You get what you think about, whether you want it or not.

Louisa May Alcott phrases it in a much more inspiring manner…

Far away in the sunshine are

my highest inspirations,

I may not reach them,

but I can look up and see the beauty,

believe in them and try to

follow where they lead…

Your thoughts must match those things you desire.

If you find that you’re frustrated, and stuff is always eluding you then perhaps it’s in the thinking.

As Flip Wilson used to say “What you SEE is what you GET!” Visualize and think about what you want – don’t focus on what you don’t want …but either way – YOU GONNA GET IT!

Surrender or Remain Stuck. Surrender and Win!

Posted in Developing the Possibilities Mindset, Practicing Self Mastery by

I recently saw a clip on CNN showing a room full of people discussing their life situations. I am not sure why I stayed with the story but was horrified at the end. It was about life and work in Silicon Valley. Once teeming with opportunity, men and women who thought they had it made were now being forced to accept free food, visit soup kitchens and rummage through trash to obtain containers that they could sell to recycling companies. One woman was followed with her recycling treasure and was so thrilled that her estimated twenty-six dollars was below the market price and she in fact received a whopping thirty-three dollars. The interviewer asked her:” “Did you ever think that you would be so thrilled with thirty-three dollars?” She replied “I never even thought I could get excited over five dollars, but now I do!”

I considered this situation versus looking at shows on HGTV where you have people getting the front of their houses re-done, their yards spruced up, buying their first homes (love the title ‘Property Virgins’), making use of dead space to become first time landlords and of course upgrading their present digs to divine spaces.

Both these situations are taking place in America. Bringing me back to a question that I always ask: Why do some people seem to succeed regardless of the economy and some suffer regardless? The folks in Silicon Valley did everything right. They saved, they insured, they were frugal – yet many of them are too young to retire and too experienced to get hired. A former engineer was thrilled to bits that he finally, after about four years, got a $9.50 an hour job at Target!

One thing’s for certain that each of us has control over regardless of the economy are our thoughts. What we think determines who we are and what happens to us. Our thoughts have the power to determine how we see ourselves, other people, and the world. Our thoughts have the power to determine our actions, behaviour, and how others respond to us. Our thoughts are directly linked to the type of person we become.

In her book Do Less, Achieve More, bestselling author Chin-Ning Chu suggests that destiny reveals itself in three phases. When you started out in your business you no doubt felt dissatisfied with something – your job, your boss, the way things were being handled at the office, or you simply felt that you could be doing so much more. In other words you were hungry and therefore motivated to take action. You had laundry lists of wants and come hell or high water you were going to get them. You started to get stuff and felt pretty much as if you were winning at this game called life. Still you felt as if something was missing, you were not totally happy. This is phase one.

You’ll know when you are in Phase Two – often caused by some kind of dramatic turning point in one’s life such as personal tragedy, loss of a loved one, professional setbacks or financial failure. You can no longer use logic to figure out what has happened or why. This is a very hard phase and the phase most of us get stuck in.

This is the phase that the folks in Silicon Valley are experiencing right now. Don’t let phase two defeat you. Don’t fight hardship. Let it be your guide. If you remember that there really is no failure only divine redirection – you will be off to a good start. You may be out of tune with the grand blueprint of your intended destiny, desiring to go places where you don’t belong. Keep fighting and the Universe will keep pushing you back to zero to start over again, hopefully in the direction you were supposed to be travelling in the first place. This is what others see as your failure and as humans we hate to fail. It mashes us up too much but could there be some wisdom in us breaking down, to be built back up into more resilient, self confident, destiny-directed human beings?

No person who has enjoyed true and lasting success, who has left a legacy of progress and goodness for the world, has ever been spared from walking through the dark valley of phase two. In phase three you surrender. You realize in this phase that what is supposed to be yours no one can take away, delay or stop from coming to you. You know that your success does not depend on certain individuals or circumstances. You know that everything you have done will eventually and inevitably lead toward the ultimate completeness of your material and spiritual rewards.

If you find yourself in Phase two – stop fighting. Surrender instead and win!  I hope that if you are in fact here, that you are encouraged! You’ve got a special message to bring to the world. Don’t give up now!

Graphic from http://www.boxofcrayonsshop.com

Today NOT Tomorrow

Posted in Developing the Possibilities Mindset by

Nike popularized “Just do it”.

One of my colleagues instilled in me “Do it now”

Yet at times I find myself putting off the very thing that I KNOW will take me to the next stage – the next level of my life.

Why?

Perhaps because I am afraid and fear really is our only true enemy.

If I remove the fear attached to my thoughts then my outpicturing becomes far more pleasant.

We truly have nothing to fear but fear itself.

As logical as all of this is sounding to me as I type, I wonder if I will revert to old behaviors tomorrow, despite the insight?

Then I remember that now is all I have and so in this moment, I am pretty cool with the thought of plucking fear from  my present thoughts and plans which make them seem doable somehow, which gives me a little more confidence and realization that I can choose to trust in my fearfulness or I can choose to trust in the wonderful ideas that surface for me.

Tomorrow will take care of itself.

Be more like teflon – not Velcro

Posted in Developing the Possibilities Mindset, Practicing Self Mastery by

In his post ‘Calm as a Monk: How Equanimity Can Save Your Sanity’ Leo Babauta talks about being like Teflon.

“Let things roll off you. Understand that there will always be people who are angry or rude or who are having a bad day. Their problems do not have to be yours. If they are mean, you don’t need to be mean also. Let their anger and comments and meanness roll off you like water on a duck’s back. Only by letting them engage you will you allow that anger to take seed in your body and grow. If you can let it roll off you, and ignore it, and smile, things will often get better.”

Then I read in another post – Even a Duck Can Drown that there are certain key elements that a duck needs to develop water resilience!

Which brings me to Velcro. If you find that you are holding onto things then you need to shed your “Velcro mentality”. In The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz talks about not taking anything personally. ANYTHING. Even if you are complimented. This means no attachment, one way or the other.

Equation: (Teflon + (Duck x water resilience) – “Velcro Mentality”) THOUGHTS = A better life journey.

Your destiny depends entirely on your mental conduct

Posted in Developing the Possibilities Mindset by

Someone said to me recently, “I didn’t realize how negative I was.”

If we were to record from sun up to sun down all our thoughts tomorrow, I bet that we would find ourselves quite negative in our outlook.

Thoughts come and go so swiftly that we are not always aware. Negative thought habits are so strong that if we are not consciously aware we will transgress.

As we leave August and step into September, I have started thinking about how we create situations and ideas and arrive at conclusions in our mind. It all occurs right there – a mixture of complex situations, contradictions and possibilities. If we examine further we will see that we are thinking  the way we are because of some childhood or memorable experience (good or bad). If we were to be honest we also embellish and enrich the thoughts with our own assumptions and feelings. Nothing is necessarily true or untrue.

We can choose to create and make opportunities using our imagination. We need to leave upstairs in our mind and come downstairs to play in real life. We need to forget yesterday and live today. Live NOW!

There are two of us existing at all times: -ten inches small when living in the past, ten feet tall when living in the present.

Start September on the right foot. The circumstances of your life tomorrow are molded by your mental conduct today.

Choose to live as the ten foot ‘truth’ that’s you!

Photo courtesy Marcus 7 4 id@ freedigitalphotos.net

Meeting Ben…

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I met Ben Zander last Tuesday night. Not in the flesh but through his words in “The Art of Possibility” a book that he collaborated on with his wife Rosamund Stone Zander.

Books are precious. They hold all these thoughts and ideas, painting new pictures in our minds and helping us sometimes to re-frame situations to benefit us in such a profound and meaningful way.

Now when we read, we can go to the Internet, and find out that much more about a person. We can see them in action. We can hear them speak.

So the experience is no longer one-dimensional but a 360 degree one that makes you feel as if you “know” this person and understand exactly what they are trying to communicate.

I’ve been thinking a lot about how little I actually LIVE. How careful I am. I color within the lines and I am absolutely scared about taking too many risks and making mistakes. People tell me I have plenty “belly” (which in Trinidadian/Tobagonian parlance means that I have a lot of courage or guts) to be in business for myself. Yet it’s always different when you’re in the shoes. I think that I have no courage at all.

Ben tells me, that’s because I live in a world of measurement. Of contrasts and comparisons. Then he reminds me that it’s all invented. We are all creators of our lives. We hold the creative rights to how our lives will unfold. Yet we allow others to tell us what we can and cannot do.

My teachers told my mother that I needed to read more (me who was reading voraciously since age 5);  many times I felt that I couldn’t write! I have sung at functions and had people tell me after that I should NOT choose it as a profession. Mind you, people said the same of Bruce (as in Springsteen)!

I have been told how bad things are, and what a terrible time we live in. That with everything that’s “going on” people are leaving Trinidad and Tobago in search of greener pastures.

I choose to remain and see things as they are, but not worse than they are. I choose to remain and perhaps start giving the people I meet an A and see how Trinidad and Tobago and my own life experience transforms.

I’ll let my new friend Ben, tell you all about the practice of giving an A here…